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Ask Lysa is a show for those seeking advice. The Ask Lysa panel give their opinions and advice on letters submitted anonymously and current headlines.

A group of friends split on what to name their company began to argue when a neutral person they all knew was spotted and someone loudly said hey, Ask Lysa. Lysa didn’t solve the disagreement instead she gave her opinion. It was at that moment they decided the name will be Ask Lysa.

Ask Lysa anonymously & securely connects people to one of our panelists.  Some letters are chosen to be featured on an episode of Ask Lysa. Anyone who wants to talk about whatever is on their mind can quickly post to the online forum community where there’s always someone who’d listen and respond. Ask Lysa has thousands of listeners who come from all walks of life and have diverse experiences.

People submit letters to the Ask Lysa panel for all kinds of reasons, from big existential thoughts to small, day-to-day things that we all experience. Unlike talking to family or friends, you can always Ask Lysa anything.

Hi Lysa. A decade ago, my uncle needed money fast. He was a single dad with three kids, his wife had left him and he needed $9,000 for a down payment on a new house. I gave him $4,000 thinking I’d consider it a gift. I said it was a loan, but I didn’t want it to get in the way of our friendship, so he should know if it took a long time to pay back or if he never paid it, that was an amount I could live without. I didn’t want to be one of those people who loans money and then wonders why they can afford this or that but can’t pay me back. It wasn’t too long after that his life started to improve. He would make investments and I would think, “Why is it your first priority to invest?” I guess you never forget you’ve loaned money to a relative. A year ago, he said to me, “I really should pay you back that $3,000.” I said it was $4,000. He said, “It was?” After that he sent a few checks, maybe $1,200 in total. Then he announced he was moving to Canada. Now he’s flying back and forth across Nprth America– and not paying me back. Am I at fault?
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GENEROUS RELATIVE
DEAR GENEROUS: To answer your question; No you are not at fault. You had initially told him it was a loan so he knows there is an obligation to pay it back. That being said, you also initially gave him the money with the consideration that he may or may not pay it back. Unfortunately it seems that your hesitation was not misplaced. If it still bothers you, I would advise sending him a message addressing it directly. I don’t know if that will get you your money back, but you definitely have some things to consider the next time a relative asks for a loan.
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LYSA
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Hi Lysa. I live in California, have kids in middle school and I smoke legal recreational marijuana. I suspect that my kids know even though I do not smoke in the house or out in the open for them to see. I’m not sure what to do if they ask me about it. I really don’t want to start telling lies to my kids. My husband thinks if they knew their only conclusion will be is their mother is doing drugs. I’ve come up with many truthful explanations but he repeatedly says that I should lie. I’m doing something that is now as legal as a bottle of wine. I can’t imagine I am the only person dealing with such an issue, with so much legalization going on around the country. What do you think about this?
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NOT SURE
DEAR NOT SURE: I would like to touch on a couple of things pertaining to the issue you are writing about. Firstly, it is debatable on the right and wrong of informing your child of sensitive subjects or of when it is considered the appropriate time to inform them. However, it is probably wise to consider that your child is also exposed to information from other sources outside the household. What you choose to tell them or not tell them does not necessarily mean they don’t know or are not able to find out independently. To be caught lying by your child can be embarrassing not to mention may dilute their trust in you. Period. Secondly, I would like to address the different approaches that you and your husband have with the rearing of your boys. I would like to suggest that the parents have a mutual understanding and at least some agreed to approach that lets the children know that although you and your husband may have different feelings about different topics, there will be common ground and ground rules for everyone. It is important to let children know that Parents are a team and are working together for their best interests.
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LYSA
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